e a t e r y R O W

LIC MARKET

21-52 44th Drive

Long Island City, NY 11101

(718) 361-0013

LIC Market is a small, cozy place nestled among the Long Island City brownstones. But for the towering Citi building a block away, the neighborhood almost can feel like in Park Slope. Known mostly for its brunches, I was concerned that Elbie and I would arrive only to find the place shuttered. Luckily, it was open and not at all crowded this particular Friday night. 

Walking in past happy folks chatting it up with the bartender, we were given a seat in the back. It wasn't quiet, but it was hardly loud. One could have a conversation without the fear that either everyone else would be paying attention or that you'd have to scream for the rest of your party to hear you. The dinner menu at LIC Market is a small one (and very seasonal), which I like because that tends to mean that the chef paid close attention to those dishes rather than try to fulfill the desires of every possible customer. Although the prices seem reasonable at first glance, the plates aren't very large, so it's actually more expensive than meets the eye. That said, you do get enough to be satisfied. In fact, you feel neither hungry nor gluttonously guilty when the end comes.

Elbie and I split our appetizers since we both wanted to try the same two: The Barnegat Bay Scallops and the Blowfish Tails. The scallops, seared with fava beans, radish, beets, and parsnip were decent though she liked them more than I did. She would have preferred that they be a bit more well done. The blowfish tails, served in a vinaigrette with beans and scallions, were the reverse. I liked them more than she did, but they were, in Elbie's defense, very bony. If you're willing to sort through the skeleton to get at the meat, you'll have a nice little reward waiting for you. The fish is heavy and rich without being fishy and oily and, unlike what rumor might imply, they weren't poison.

Elbie's entree was the Long Island Monk Fish with saffron, fennel, and tomato, while I ordered the Crescent Duck Breast with brussels sprouts, pomegranate seeds, and mushrooms under a light vinaigrette seasoning. Again, we were both somewhat taken aback at the smallish size of the entrees (the photos don't show it well) but, again, it turned out not to be beneficial. Elbie liked the monkfish more than she liked the duck, but in the end, she summed it up as a little forgettable as a dish. Everything worked well-enough together, but it couldn't stand out as a fish entree that she would rave to friends about. On the other hand, I loved my duck. I would have preferred a crispier skin, but hey, I shouldn't be eating the skin anyway. I thought that the pomegranate was a nice touch and I liked how the seeds would pop little bursts of flavor as you bit into them. I also happen to have loved their contrast with the otherwise bitter brussels sprouts. On a whim we ordered a side dish of Romanesco, which is basically a huge plate of broccoli, bacon, and cheese. So naturally, it was good.

Dessert wasn't initially on the list, but Elbie and I chose to try the Apple Fritters for dessert (and coffee). And they were amazing. Warm little apple-filled doughnuts coated in sugar with fresh whipped cream to spoon on top of at your leisure. You could probably eat these for hours and not even notice, and we held back getting a second round purely out of caloric guilt.

Two appetizers, two entrees, two coffees, a dessert, and three drinks, plus tax and tip totalled about $140.

LITTLE MUENSTER

100 Stanton Street

New York, NY 10002

(212) 203-7179

A couple of years ago, there was a small but growing and noticeable trend of restaurants that focused on one dish and built a menu around that. The trend seems to have plateaued, but meatballs, cupcakes, hamburgers, french fries, and grilled cheese sandwiches are among those that I've written about while it was hot. Little Muenster is in this crowd and, like Melt Shop in midtown, it focuses on the ever popular, hard to go wrong dish, the grilled cheese sandwich.

If Little Muenster is anything, it's little. There are a few spots inside, a few stools, and, if the weather's nice, you can steal the lone outside table. The menu, which changes over time and over the course of the day, is entirely grilled cheeses and tomato soup. In my travels here, I've tried four sandwiches and, while some were just okay, some were flat out amazing. I haven't tried the tomato soup and there's a good chance that I might be the only one. Each time I've eaten at Little Muenster, everyone else had soup with their sammie. They also sell beer.

The Candied Bacon grilled cheese (granny smith apples, cheddar cheese, jack cheese, and bacon) was one of the just-okay ones. It was over-grilled, so maybe that's why, but was also far too sweet for my taste. The Chipotle Chicken grilled cheese, on the other hand (grilled chicken, Jarlsberg cheese and a chipotle crema sauce) was insane. I inhaled it in five seconds. One minute it was in front of me, and the next, all that I could see was a grease stain on the plate. The chipotle sauce might raise and eyebrow to some, but fear not. It's far from spicy. It's just a factor of tanginess and adds a little smoke. The White American Singles with Tomato and Bacon grilled cheese is just that, a grilled cheese with tomato and bacon, just like mom used to make except not free and on better bread. So it was, naturally, very good. Finally (though ironically the first one I ate), the Prosciutto with Fontina and Gruyere. It was good without being great. Too complicated I think. But don't quote me on it because my half-assed notes only have the word "okay" next to it. 

I'm a big fan of Little Muenster. For a little bit of money you can have a very satisfying snack that will take you back to a more childlike time. Especially if your childhood included comfort food cooked by a gourmet chef.

OKTOBERFEST SPECIAL 2012!!!

Greenwood Park

Hofbrau Bierhaus

La Birreria

Pilsner Haus & Biergarten

Zum Schnieder

Welcome to the third installment of eateryROW's Oktoberfest special. For the past two years, I've been  trying my best to find time and space in my belly for a few gallons of beer and a few pounds of schnitzel to celebrate this seasonal drinkathon. This year I've been to five new places on both sides of the Hudson and East Rivers. Some were good. Very good! Some less good. At the bottom of the post, you'll find a MAP of the all of the places I've included in my travels that you should find your way into this fall. Go there, eat, drink, be merry. It includes locations found in the 2010 Special and the 2011 Special.

GREENWOOD PARK

555 7th Avenue

Brooklyn, NY 11215

no phone

Situated in what was obviously a renovated shipping depot, there's little to Greenwood Park that screams traditional beer garden. Really, it's a large bar with a lot of outdoor seating. Filled with gravel, poured concrete, and within a wall of recycled cargo palates, this particular beer garden is the least inviting beer garden that I've ever been to. It's not a loud party space like Studio Square, it's not cute like Loreley, it's not traditional like Bohemian Hall, and it's not relaxing like Berry Park. It's boring. 

Maybe I was put off by the beer served to me in plastic cups, as though they were used to the customers getting tanked and breaking the glass ones. Maybe it was the menu of bar food standards like onion rings. Maybe it was the crowd that was half kids who looked like they were still in high school and half guys who looked like they watched Jersey Shore for a living. Maybe it was that the beer list was disappointing. Maybe it was a lot of things. In the end, Bro and I came, had a pint, left, and made no plans to return.

HOFBRAU BIERHAUS

712 3rd Avenue

New York, NY 10017

(212) 580-2437

Hofbrau Bierhaus is the New York location of the Hofbrau Brewery restaurant group based out of Munich. The story goes that they opened the original in the late 1500s in Munich. When the post-WW2 era created a global demand for German beer they expanded, and there are now Hofbrauhauses all over the world. Truth be told, that they're a chain doesn't feel surprising once you take a step inside. Like most chains, the waitresses all wear uniforms, though this time the uniforms are D-cup-creating beer-garden-girl outfits. Alongside the Bavarian folk music playing loudly, there are a dozen television screens lining the ceiling (all tuned to ESPN). Being in midtown, the crowd was mostly tourists or bridge and tunnel businessmen drinking their lunch.

Hofbrau's menu was, at least, very honestly German. Plenty of sausages and schnitzel sandwiches and no one was offering up Sriracha instead of mustard. I tried their bauernwurst and Elbie ordered a standard bratwurst. Along with just-okay sides of saurkraut and potato salad, neither was especially mind-blowing, but it was heavy and you get a lot and we left with a to-go bag. Maybe some of the other food is better. The beers, all Hofbrau brand, were beer. Mine was something dark, hers was a light wheat beer. They were fine, if a bit thin. We left for home feeling let down. What should have been the most interesting and authentic beer hall in the city was the most boring, tourist-trappy one of all of them

LA BIRRERIA

Eataly

200 5th Avenue

New York, NY 10010

(212) 937-8910

If Hofbrau Bierhaus is a tourist trap, Birreria is a tourist magnet. Situated 14 stories above the street in Flatiron, Birreria is Eataly's rooftop, outdoor beer (and wine) destination. Half of the crowd here were Europeans, winding down after a day of sightseeing. Although large and outside, La Birreria is the farthest from a traditional beer garden of any of the places in the list this year, and it closely resembles a wine bar. For one, there's table service. Then, there's wine. And cheese plates. Elbie and I ordered beers, but we also ordered the cheese plate. Seven cheeses for $17, with bread and honey. Very posh.

If you're a beer snob, La Birreria might be your thing. A few microbrews, some foreign stuff, but specifically three cask ales, served just slightly cooler than a late September's room temperature, naturally carbonated, hand pumped from an unpressurized keg.

PILSENER HAUS & BIERGARTEN

1422 Grand Street

Hoboken, NJ 07030

(201) 683-5465

One of the better beer gardens in the metro area is in Hoboken. I know that all of the NYers reading this have just cringed. But it's sadly true. Sure, there are some Jersey-trash types there in minidresses and seven inch stilettos or with turned up collars talking about the Devils, but look past them if you can. Although the music may flip between the Shins and smokey French jazz, Pilsener Haus is among the more "traditional" beer halls you could wander into. It's large, with a really good German menu and sells beer by the two-liter boot. I arrived a half hour after they had opened and the outside seating area had been filled to capacity. So get there as early as possible, if you can.

If you ever find yourself in Hoboken wanting beer, or you just want a real good bierhalle, Pilsener Haus should certainly be on your list. A word about location: while Pilsener Haus is pretty close to the NY Waterway ferry stop on Hoboken's 14th Street, it's a solid half hour walk to the PATH train on the other side of town. I walked from Pilsener to the train and, after two liters of beer, was dead sober by the time I swiped my MetroCard to head home. Yes, PATH takes the MetroCard.

ZUM SCHNEIDER

107 Avenue C

New York, NY 10009

(212) 598-1098

Less a beer hall than a German restaurant, Zum Schneider is where you should be for Oktoberfest. The staff is German, the customers are German, the food is German, the beer is German. It defines Oktoberfest. I sat here one lazy early evening reading a good book, eating a great red wine soaked steak and just having a pleasant relaxed time. The space is small relative to many of the other locations I've been to for my Oktoberfest travels and it fills up fast. Zum Schneider opens at five and there are people waiting to get in as soon as they do.

Being far from the touristy areas of midtown, Madison Square, or Meatpacking, the folks at Zum Schneider are just local people chatting away with their friends. It's not fratty like some or pretentious like others. It's just a chill place to eat and get beer outside under an umbrella. Zum Schneider's one bad part, since the staff was great and the food was delicious, is that it's cash only. There's a ATM across the street at a bodega that they will direct you to, but then you have to pay a few bucks in ATM fees.

THE STANTON SOCIAL

99 Stanton Street

New York, NY 10002

(212) 995-0099

If you like a scene, then you'll like, no, love The Stanton Social. It's loud. How loud? Yell at your date from across the table loud. It's dark. How dark? The few lights that they have glow dim red Set your smartphone screen to bright so you can read your menu. It's tight. How tight? Who's thigh am I touching? It's sexy. How sexy? Four blondes in LBDs and glittery shoes are staring at me. Or at least through me with lustful disinterest. It's soaked in booze. How soaked? I'm two drinks in and the appetizers haven't been ordered.

The last time I ate at a place that was as much of a scene was at Beauty & Essex. Although, they went the extra mile by hiding their entrace behind a pawn shop, so they can keep their crown. Still, Stanton isn't far behind. There are two very dark floors guarded by two very big bouncers, run by two very busy hostesses, and in spite of our having had a reservation and arriving early, Elbie and I still were escorted upstairs to the packed-to-the-hilt bar to wait for a bit. To Stanton's credit, the bartenders didn't have us wait for a year so they could flirt with some hot customer or other. We got our drinks quickly, and efficiently (if not cheaply) and they were pretty good.

We wound up being seated at a table upstairs anyway, just a few feet from where we leaned on the wall with round one of our cocktails. The Stanton Social is a small plates restaurant. They don't really do entrees and most of the dishes are pretty close in size to each other. At least this was our experience. I usually expect that restaurants as trendy as this one to bank most of their energy on atmosphere and hoping that their popularity as being the du jour place to be seen in will make up for the fact that they couldn't care less about their menu. That as long as there's a drink in your hand, you probably aren't paying attention to what you're eating. You know. Club food. So I was pleased when the it became apparent that The Stanton Social actually does have a guy in the kitchen who knows what he's doing. 

As I said, The Stanton Social is a small plates place, and Elbie and I might have gone a wee bit overboard. And we might have walked out so full that we could barely breathe. And "we" might refer to "me" despite her telling me not to order so much. 

The first dish to arrive was the French Onion Soup Dumplings. Served in an escargot dish, each dumpling comes filled with caramelized onion and just enough beef broth to pop in your mouth when you bite in. On top is a heaping of melted gruyere cheese and a little crouton. I love French onion soup and these dumplings managed to beat out most of the soup versions that I've had over the years. This dish was the one thing that I had been told specifically to get and my advisor wasn't wrong. It was a delicious start to the meal and as much fun as a negative review can be to write, we were never let down. These were followed by the Red Snapper Tacos, another winner. Red snapper, some mango, some avocado, in a crunchy shell (which I prefer) and served with a semi-spicy chipotle sauce on the side. It's a shame that there were only three. I think Elbie and I flipped a coin to see who got it. The Kobe Beef Burger Sliders are sold one at a time at $7 a pop. We ordered one each of these extremely juicy cheeseburgers but I could have eaten ten without breaking a sweat.

The meal ended with coffees and the 90 Proof Milkshake Shot, a tall shot of caramel ice cream and Makers Mark. Oh man, I need to make this at home.

Our meal of six cocktails, six plates, two coffees, a dessert drink, tax and tip came to $225 and no cents.