e a t e r y R O W

PIO PIO
62-30 Woodhaven Boulevard
Rego Park, NY 11374
(718) 458-0606

Pio Pio sits on a corner on the south side of Woodhaven Boulevard on a relatively forgettable, quiet block of local shops. Pio Pio itself is the polar opposite of the rest of the block. It's small, but packed with people. And they're all seeking dinner for a price that's one step above free.

Pio Pio has all of seven tables and can sit a whopping 22 people at most. It might want to consider expanding. The tables are constantly and continuously full. There's virtually no room to move, between the old customers leaving, the new customers coming in, the waiters running in and out of the kitchen and the line of people waiting to take food home or get a table. The line literally stretched to the door while I was here.



The menu at this little Peruvian joint is simple. They have all of one (1) entree: Chicken Pio, and a handful of side dishes, all starch. South Beach Dieters need not apply.

So Bro and I ordered the Chicken Pio and four sides to try. The volume of food you get is immense. We may have ordered for two, but we were given enough for four. The chicken itself is a testament to the "do one thing and do it well" philosophy. Amazingly tender and moist. Skin aside, it was virtually fat free and tasted amazing. The sides were disappointing by comparison.

We ordered Papas Fritas, french fries, which while not bad, weren't made the way I like them. They were too soggy for me and Bro concurred. Toss on some salt and ketchup and you were fine, but there wasn't any crisp outside with the soft inside that I like. We also tried the Fried Yuca, which is like humongous, but harder, French fries. Not bad. Better than the fries themselves and better when you dip them in one of the two sauces that come with the meal. Sauce one: ultra-hot green. Sauce two: vinegar lemon (?). We ordered Maduros, sweet plaintains, a dish I love, but instead got Tostones, green plantains, a dish I don't. If you've never had them, picture a flattened banana, fried and hard, almost devoid of taste. Skip these. Finally, we ordered Yellow Rice. This was the best side of all of them and I was sucking it down like it was going out of style. Add in the chicken and I was en el cielo. I hear that the avocado salad is great, but did not order it myself.



If Woodhaven Boulevard is too far to trek, an understandable dilemma, then there's one in Jackson Heights, one on Cyprus Avenue in the Bronx, one in Green Point, and one on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. I think that these are all larger than this one, which I've heard was the first of the bunch, and they might have larger menus.

RICKSHAW DUMPLING BAR
61 West 23rd Street
New York, NY 10010
(212) 924-9220

When I was working in Chelsea, Rickshaw was often my go-to place for a cheap and fast meal. Note, I did not say delicious. Sadly for me, and I'm pretty sure most everyone else, it was never better than mediocre.

Rickshaw's open kitchen inspires a nice feeling of cleanliness, and it certainly looks spotless. And modern. The high ceilings and decor are cool and trendy and while I've never actually eaten here, I think that I could be quite comfy sitting down, eating my dumplings, drinking my soup and just being alone with a magazine. That's a nice thing that Rickshaw has that most other places I frequent don't.

The menu is all over the Asian map in terms of what ethnicity Rickshaw is supposed to represent. Chinese, Japanese, Thai. I refuse to call it fusion. But although every one of these cultures serves a variety of dumplings, the characters are Chinese. So I'll classify it there. Rickshaw Dumpling Bar, as the name suggests, serves dumplings. Six varieties. They also have soups and salads. Once you make your dumpling choice, you decide whether you want it fried or steamed. Do yourself a favor and order them fried. Concerns about trans-fats aside, the steamed option will come somewhat chewy and bland.

For this visit, I ordered three types of dumpling. When I used to go more regularly, my favorite, through experience, was the Fried Peking Duck, stuffed also with scallions and cabbage. These are not bad. I would go so far as to say that they are, in fact, good. Every dumpling comes with it's own dipping sauce, and the Peking duck dumplings come with a very sweet, dark brown Asian duck sauce. Next up I ordered the Steamed Chicken and Thai Basil, stuffed with lemongrass, carrots and glass noodles. Yes, steamed. I felt guilty ordering the fried duck dumplings and paid the price with flavor. They're okay, not great, and the spicy peanut dipping sauce was a welcome addition. More than anything else, you taste the carrot. Finally, the Steamed Seasonal Vegetarian that is additionally stuffed with five-spice tofu. These were the most bland. Bland vegetables encased in bland dumpling. Saved only by dipping them in the mystery green sauce, these were not worth the money. The Miso soup's not bad.

Rickshaw serves dumplings in packs of six or nine (like McNuggets) for around $6 or $8, respectively, including tax. Take my advice and order them fried. For an extra few bucks you can add a salad or a soup.

46-10 Skillman Avenue
Sunnyside, NY 11104
(917) 779-9220

Quaint, the winner of Time Out New York's coveted "Eat Out 2007: Best New Restaurant In Queens" award, sits literally half a block away from Bliss Bistro, which I had reviewed only a few months back. Quaint is an upscale, but casual, New American restaurant that sits serenley on a tree lined block of pre-war buildings north of Queens Boulevard in Sunnyside. Its nondescript entrance is made all the more so since there's neither a sign nor an awning, and the name on the window is teeny-tiny and can't be seen at night. If not for the chalkboard out front, you'd probably walk right by. In a sense, that gives it a certain those-in-the-know feeling.

Sunnyside has two faces. One face is the chainy commercial face; replete with gas stations, fast food joints, Rite Aids, and 99 cent stores. The other face is the restaurant face. While this certainly isn't Park Slope or the West Village, Sunnyside had far more restaurants than you'd think it would. There are dozens of places to eat here, with ethnicities ranging from French to Nepalese. While most of these restaurants are on one side or the other of super-busy Queens Boulevard,Quaint sits two blocks north on Skillman Avenue, which is far more relaxed. Almost like West End Avenue compared to Broadway.

Bro and I went pretty much on a last-minute whim, which worked out fine since Quaint doesn't take reservations for groups of less than six. When we arrived at around 8, the only table available was the one by the door. A helpful tip: don't sit here in the winter. Every time someone enters or leaves, an icy gust of wind rushes in, and Bro took the brunt of it. There's a heavy winter curtain, but it's just not that effective.

Let's get the criticism out of the way first, because overall I like Quaint and would be a regular if I could walk there from home. The biggest problem I had with the restaurant lay not in a lack of warmth, so much as a lack of service. Our food, when ordered, arrived without delay or problems of any kind. But getting to place the order was a challenge, as our waiter vanished right after giving us our drinks. The same thing happened at the end when trying to get the check. He simply went missing again. In between, Bro ordered a specialty drink from the menu and he got the wrong one. It tasted fine so Bro kept his mouth shut, but that's not really the point. Finally, Quaint uses paper nakins instead of cloth ones. I recognize that this is an inexpensive upscale restaurant, but paper napkins make it feel cheap.

Anyway, what about the food?

To start, Bro ordered the Macaroni and Cheese appetizer, which was served with crumpled bacon tossed in. Yeah yeah, mac and cheese. Don't knock it till you try it. I tried it and liked it, but Bro was less impressed. First, he wanted me to point out that the macaroni noodles were, in fact, shell noodles and that this gives it a different texture. As for me, I think they taste the same, so I could care less. He also thought that there was too little cheese and didn't like that it was baked. See, he and I were raised with a completely different mac and cheese recipe. For us, you boil the noodles, drain them, and then pour the cheese sauce (which has been made separately in a small pot on the next burner) over then noodles. Ours is admittedly different than most, but it prevents the noodles from getting dry, which is what often happens, and happened here, when the dish is baked.

As for me, I ordered the Herb Braised Mussels, which sat in a soup of red curry and coconut broth. I'd certainly order it again, since it was delicious. They were neither dry nor gritty, something I find can be a common risk when ordering mussels. I did find myself somewhat embarrassed when the waiter caught me using one of the shells like a spoon to drink the broth with. Speaking of mussels, Monday is all-you-can-eat mussel night. Bring fifteen bucks and go hog wild.

My entree was the Grilled NY Shell Steak, served with spinach, mashed potatoes and Bordelaise sauce. Order this if you like red meat. It was tender with just the right amount of searing and fat. It was bloody enough to add that extra oomph the the Bordelaise sauce but not so much as to drown the potatoes. The last steak I had was at Wollensky's for close to $50 and this one was probably better. Mind you, it was a completely different style and maybe I shouldn't compare the two... but then again, this was less than half the price and came with sides. So TFB. Bro ordered Pan Fried Tilapia with organic quinoa and pine nuts. Bro and I both liked this dish, but myself less so. It seemed somewhat bland, as did the quinoa, which tastes like a cross between potato and grits. Bro recommends it, and I won't go that far. My compromise suggestion is this: if you're a fish person, order it yourself to decide; if you're not, then go with the steak.

We also ordered a side of French Fries. They were good, but a complete waste of money. Quaint is certainly not guilty of being stingy with the grub, so most of the fries went to waste (only a culinary heathen takes home leftover fries to nuke).

I really, really like Quaint. If I lived in Manhattan near the 7 train, it would absolutely be worth a trip into Queens. Hell, take another train and transfer. It's perfect for that neighborhoody atmosphere when you want to feel like a regular even though you've never been there. At least twice during the meal, people came in and other guests knew who they were and started up conversations. Despite what might be read as criticism about the food, it was seriously very good. Quaint also manages to straddle the border of romantic without becoming awkward. It's dark. Like pitch black dark. Every light is on the dim setting and most of the light comes from the tealight on the table or the lights over the bar. Dark can be interpreted as either romantic or cool and I choose cool. When I bring a girl I like, I'll choose romantic.

Two beers, a soda, two appetizers, two entrees, and a coffee, came to $70 before tax and tip.

Last night, Speeds and I finally found parking vaguely near Quaint and grabbed a table. We then began our feast. And a feast it was. Everything was delicious and underlines the fact that there are indeed great restaurants outside of Manhattan that aren't in Brooklyn. Speeds added Quaint to her list of favorite restaurants and she rarely ventures over the East River for anything but doctor's visits. Getting here was like pulling teeth, but once again, I was able to provide evidence of the glories of venturing beyond your comfort zone. Quaint's open kitchen, with flames bursting across the faces of our chefs was a particularly smile-inducing effect.

First up, the Crispy Calamari, lightly fried calamari with a sweet tomato chipotle glaze for dipping. Sweet here is the operative word. The sauce is like a tangy jam, not the standard tomato dipping sauce you get at so many other places. Next, Steamed Mussels in a red curry and coconut broth. The mussels were large, the broth spicy, but not overwhelming. With a few pieces of thick toast to sponge up the sauce from this rather large appetizer, we were already full but had two entrees to gorge ourselves in.

Speeds ordered the fish special, a crusted Mahi Mahi steak with a brown rice tapenade. I thought it was somewhat on the bland side, as did a customer at the the table next to us. His girlfriend loved it though, as did Speeds. Maybe it's a female thing. The tapenade was fantastic though. My dinner was the Roast Chicken Breast, covered in rosemary, served in a red wine glaze, and with Quaint's version of au gratin potatoes. This was noticeably not bland. I recommend the chicken highly. I actually demand that you order it.

Dessert was coffee times each plus the Profiteroles for her and a Root Beer Float for me.

This updated dinner with tax and tip came to $101.

NoNO KITCHEN
239 Seventh Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11215
(718) 369-8348

One busy Thursday I met Pike in Park Slope for dinner. He suggested NoNO (for North of New Orleans, or so says the awning). When we got there the head waiter informed us that since we had no reservations, we could be seated only if we were able to finish before the people who claimed our table arrived in an hour and a half. No biggie. Pike had an after-dinner date to get to.

There aren't too many really good Cajun restaurants in New York and fewer now that Cooking with Jazz is closed. As a result, Cajun is a cuisine I don't get around to eating much. So I was like a kid in a candy store with NoNO's menu. I wanted to try everything. Sure, they had some things that I've had before, like steak and some standard chicken dishes, but they also had a swath of fresh vittles that would require an hour on the subway for me to get to. Dammitall, what to do? So I ended up staring at the menu thinking for probably twenty minutes, eating into our precious and ever dwindling chow time.

The first thing to come to the table while we pondered our meals was warm corn bread, which was really great, and some almost completely melted butter. I'm not sure if this is to dip the cornbread in like it were a lobster tail, or if it was a boo-boo, but that's what we ended up doing anyway.

My appetizer was the Popcorn Crawfish, something I don't think I've seen anywhere else and hence begging for me to try it. Crawfish taste almost like a spicy cross between a lobster and a shrimp. This dish of teeny, batter-fried crawdaddies was pretty damn tasty. They're served with a dipping sauce that adds a little moisture to what might otherwise be something too dry. Pike ordered Fried Oysters. Hey, the man had a date after dinner. Like the crawfish, they were fried. But they were saltier and three times the size. I grabbed one, dunked it in the dipping sauce, and enjoyed. It wasn't bad but I preferred my own dish.

For an entree, Pike ordered the Chicken Fried Steak. When I admitted never having had chicken fried steak, perhaps due to a regional lack of Bob's Big Boys, I was met with exasperation. "They take the cheapest, worst cut of beef they can find, dunk it in batter, and the fry the crap out of it. It's awesome!" And yeah, I tried it and it was pretty awesome. Served under a coating of gravy and beside mashed potatoes and string beans, I can definitely say that I'd consider this next time. This time, I ordered the Chicken, Pork Andouille and Tasso Jambalaya. I was warned that it would be spicy but I didn't think it was that hot. The dish itself reminded me of a fancy version of something from Rice-A-Roni. It was fine, but I felt that it was somewhat on the bland side. Some online reviews on places like Urban Spoon and so forth make me feel like I was not alone in this opinion. There were so many other dishes I was eager to try that I know that next time I'll order one of them.

Two sodas, one beer, two appetizers and two entrees, plus tax and tip totaled $81 even. It would have only been $80, but Pike was feeling generous. Maybe it was the oysters.

WOLLENSKY'S GRILL
201 East 49th Street
New York, NY 10017
(212) 753-0444

Smith & Wollensky's is a steak institution. Most conversations have it compared with Peter Luger in Brooklyn. I did not go to Smith & Wollensky. It's way too expensive for yours truly, and what with money being a zero-sum-game, I'd rather go to a whole bunch of restaurants than a mere handful. Wollensky's grill was supposed to allow me to do just that. Alas, the best laid plans.

Actually, the idea was Turtle's and the truth is, I'd been here a number of times before, but for Wollensky's pretty-damn-good hamburger. The thought running through my head this time was to forego the burger and go for something more steaky. Perhaps a steak.

Wollensky's Grill is the casual brother to Smith & Wollensky. It's louder, it's more loose-tie, and the service is pretty bad. Ordering a beer took fifteen solid minutes and we didn't get water at our table until after the food was served. Even then, there were no water refills. I thought that someone in a white apron might notice if I up-ended the glass and began to smack the back of it to get at the ice cubes, but no. Sodas come in those teeny, 1950s style glass bottles and having already shelled out $9 for a bottle of Budweiser, I went thirsty.

I oddly felt right at home, at least when we got a table. It's loud, but not from thumping club music, and crowded, but not from a fleeting trendiness. There's a definite power lunch a-go-go feeling here, and the after work crowd is solid suits. It was kinda fun watching the 50 somethings hitting on the 30 somethings. This gives you an idea of the age bracket. Turtle and I were probably among the youngest people eating or drinking.

Everything at Wollensky's Grill is like it is upstairs at its big brother: a la carte. When the food arrives, it arrives lonely. If you want your food to have company, you buy those sides individually (they're big enough for two) and they come on a separate plate.

So what about the food? Turtle ordered the Wollensky Burger with cheddar cheese. I've had this plenty of times and can vouch for its goodness. As a side, he ordered the Hashed Browns. As near as I could tell, there are no French fries (but this is like a chopped up version of the same thing), and this is their signature side for the burger. Also pretty good.

My thought was a not-cheap-but-not-too-expensive steak. I would be thwarted. No steak on the menu was under $40 and I wasn't about to order chicken. So I sucked it up and chose a medium rare, prime Sirloin Steak. I can't complain. It was rare and tender, perfectly seared on the outside, perfectly marbled within. I guess I just can't get past the ten fins that floated away because of it. Let's just say I've never eaten a steak so slowly in my life. To back it up I ordered Onion Rings. These were the opposite of the steak. They were just plain not good. Tasteless and way too doughy. I won't get these again.

So what's my verdict? Go knowing that you'll spend more than you think you will and you'll be fine. Expect shoddy service and hit-or-miss sides and you'll be fine. That may not sound glowing (it isn't) but the steaks are great, the burgers are great, the atmosphere's fun (though somewhat older) and it's a genuinely relaxing place to be once you can sit down and are no longer being bumped into. Be aggressive with the water.

244 East 51st Street
New York, NY 10022
212-319-WINE

When the Peanuts do a holiday show, you have no choice but to acknowledge that holiday's existence, even though deep down you may just want to hide under a table. Having said this, Valentine's Day is but a short distance away. Like it or not, this little holiday has set certain societal expectations that must be noted regardless of whether you like them, respect them, or intend to follow them. Many people find the corporate nature of Valentine's Day repulsive: convincing people to waste their money on something that they'd otherwise never even consider buying. Like pink tablecloths, heart-shaped anythings, or Russell Stover chocolates. Others find it sad that anyone would need a day to remind them that they should do something with the someone they love. After all, if you really loved someone, why would you need the reminder? But since the middle ages, every February, couples become obligated to prove that they're in soul-mate territory. Single people get to watch.

I've decided to help reduce the commercialization of Valentine's Day. So here's my suggestion. For starters, no chocolates and no cards. None. If you want to give a card, make your own. It's easy. Just fold a piece of paper in half. I assure you she or he's gonna like it way more. Instead of cheap-assed chocolate in a tacky red-heart that'll just be tossed in the garbage can by the end of the day, go out. I recommend Divine Bar. You can keep the flowers.

Divine Bar is one of the most romantic, seductive places I've been to lately (naturally, I would wind up there alone with some guy friends and their significant others). It's dark, smells like wine and baked bread, and it's almost entirely candle-lit. With the candles, wrought iron balcony, winding staircase, cushy chairs, heavy curtains and pillows, it almost feels like dining in a castle. And yes, I have actually dined in castles.

Divine Bar, being a wine bar primarily, has a large wine list, which you order by number. For food, Divine Bar has a large tapas menu. So you don't really order a dinner so much as plenty of appetizers while you drink to your heart's content. I was introduced to Divine Bar by Turtle, where we met up with some friends. There was nothing romantic going on with this specific group but we might have been the only non-couple table in the place. We decided to return and chill out there a few weeks later since we had such a good time. So here's the breakdown of both "meals".

There are a variety of empanada-esque choices. Pork Pot Stickers, a cluster of pan fried pork empanadas with an apple ginger chive mousse, and Spicy Chicken Empanadas stuffed with tomato, olive, Monterrey jack cheese, Cajun dijonaisse sauce. Both of these dishes were pretty good, but the attempt to fancify a deep-fried fast food dish comes out somewhat flat. You can find the real (better) thing if you look.

Divine Bar has a pizza that varies by the day, the Neapolitan Style Pizzette, an individual very-thin-crust pizza. The day we went the pizza was good, but I won't get into the toppings since it won't likely be the same for you.

The highlight of the menu is the baked brie in warm puffed pastries. We ordered both: Sun-Dried Tomato Pesto Baked Brie in Warm Puffed Pastry and the Honey Walnut Baked Brie in Warm Puffed Pastry. Both come with slices of apple that you dip into the melting brie-pastry like a cracker in dip. Both are flat-out great, but the honey walnut one is like crack. We wiped the plate clean and then ordered another.

So over two trips there were ten dishes and about ten glasses of wine. They totalled around $238 plus tip, which means that if everything cost the same, it was roughly $12 per dish/glass of wine.