e a t e r y R O W

723 3rd Avenue

New York, NY 10017

(212) 682-5814

Kushi Q is where I go for lunch when I can't bear the thought of having another sandwich; when the idea of having more salad is enough to make me bring in a stick of pure butter wrapped in raw bacon just to spite the good-healthniks in the office that line up at Pax; when it makes no sense to stand in line at a Halal cart for food I know couldn't possibly be as good as the one down on the corner of Water Street and Gouverneur Lane, near where I used to work, was.

Kushi Q is the opposite of a sushi bar. It's a Japanese hot-food bar. There's no sushi to be found. Sushi bars have been cropping up like weeds and it's refreshingly different to go somewhere that's different, tastes good, and is still healthy and prepared fresh. It's a tiny place, with bar seating all along the wall opposite the grill, but I don't really recommend sitting here, since it's clear that the seats were chosen because they fit the minimalist white decor, not for their butt comforting capabilities. Actually, I sat on a brownstone stoop a week ago that was more forgiving.

The menu is mostly made up of what they call Kushiyaki, which could be Japanese for something that means "meat covered in a glazey sauce, or could be Kushi-Q's cute (qute?) way of saying Teriyaki. My Japanese is a little rusty. Or it would be if I ever took Japanese. The blog MidtownLunch refers to the type of food as Yakitori.

Though you can go for dinner, they close at 9 and have no tables, so you're better off taking your food to go. Um, such as to your desk like the rest of us.

A typical lunch will come with miso soup and the satay-style meat of your choice (chicken, beef, salmon, tofu, etc.) over a salad or rice for about seven or eight dollars. If you choose to get a can of diet Sprite like I do, tack on another buck. Kushi Q also serves sides like corn and French fries, and you can get unique bags of Japanese potato chips, like seaweed with sea salt, that probably aren't available at CVS. The food here is very good (or I wouldn't eat there as much as I do), relatively cheap, different from the norm, filling, and comes without the annoying baggage of guilt that comes from pizza or meatball subs.

Side Note: I was asked not to photograph the inside. Tsk tsk. Note to other restaurant folks: don't do that. (now please note how MidtownLunch was not asked to stop after taking one lousy photo)

BLT Burger

Paleontologists believe that the first hamburger was invented by the mighty allosaurus which feasted on meat culled from herds of then plentiful, roaming tricerotops. They preferred their burgers extra-rare with no bun or ketchup. To this day the very same culinary technique is practiced by great white sharks, which opt instead for Australian surfer. I agree, a burger without fixings is primitive, but this is what started the phenomenon, and since then the burger has evolved. We in NY are tasting that evolution.

As I said in Part One, where I introduced this mini-series of burger reviews, a whole mess o' burger joints have cropped up in the recent couple of years here in the Big Apple and I decided to give as many of them as I could a whirl. This way, if any of my readers should one day be wandering the streets hungry, or perhaps drunk, and really want something good but not too expensive that isn't pizza, they'd be well equipped to handle the situation, regardless of how many chugs had been lugged.

In part one I also broke down my rules. But here they are in a somewhat abbreviated form: (1) burger joints only; (2) only between 7pm and 9pm; (3) Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday; (4) Burger or Cheeseburger with fries and a diet cola.


BLT BURGER:


BLT Burger spawns from the BLT family of BLT Prime/Fish/Steak fame. Naturally, given its family ties, BLT Burger is the most expensive of the burger joints I’ve been to thus far. Luckily for me, it was also the best burger.

Most of the others give off either a diner-ish or fast-food-ish feeling. BLT though, feels more like a pub. The walls are dark, there’s wine, a long beer list, and a giant cow-head mounted on the wall. BLT is also full service. You’re not standing at a counter ordering and waiting for your number to be called, as is done at NY Burger Company (see below) or Brgr (see part 1). You’re given a menu and a waiter. It should be noted that if you show up between lunch and dinner, you have to eat at the bar, because they close the tables.



BLT Burger has placed itself as the expense-account choice for hamburger aficionados. In addition to the standard Black Angus hamburger available for the relatively modest price of $9 (or the lamb, turkey, veggie, or salmon version for about the same price), you can ask for the American Kobe beef burger for $16 or the Japanese Kobe beef one for a mere $68. Toppings and cheese are extra. Soda refills are free.

Standard diner desserts like pies a la mode, cookies, cupcakes, and milkshakes are available. Of course, if you want your milkshake to get you happily buzzed, for $10 you can get that too.



Mr. Dogz does his best to keep kosher, but as the technology does not yet exist to create kosher meat that tastes good (a Mitsubishi and ADM joint project is in the development stage), Dogz met me here on 6th Avenue. And man were those some burgers.

The meat was ground very fine and it almost felt creamy when you bit into the patty. I order my burgers medium rare if I’m given the option. I went back a few days later with Bro and they accidentally made it well done. I didn’t complain, but there was a definite drop in the creaminess factor, a factor that I think put the BLT burger above the others.



The burgers, it should be noted, seemed smaller compared to the others, but they came fully dressed and ended up being the perfect size. Especially when added to the fries, which were also very, very good. Crisp, but still soft and mushy inside. There was also a little cup of cole slaw which I liked a lot. We left neither too full to stand up straight, nor hungry enough to want to eat anything else.

Wait for food: 20 minutes.
Cost: $16 including tax and tip.
Burger: In the words of Mr. Dogz: "Sacrilicious"
Fries: Heavenly.
Atmosphere: A pub with primo cow.
Verdict: The best one so far.





NEW YORK BURGER CO.:

Whether it should have been or not, New York Burger Co. was the first of the burger joints I'd ever noticed. And since trying them out the first time, they remain at the top of my recommendation list for folks seeking a good burger that isn't fast food. They make some good stuff for a better price than most and they don't take forever doing it.



That said, NYBC is up there with one of the most fast-foodish looking interiors one could design. You walk in, pick your burger from the menu over the cashier, and wait for it to be cooked. When it is, you go find a booth in the back or a table on the side. You're not gonna impress your out-of-town relatives with an evening trip here over even Brgr just an avenue away. The atmosphere is downright sterile... though oddly enough, my photo there, with the hanging ball lights, make it look kinda cool.



One of the best fast food burgers I an remember was at a Checkers. There's a driving range in the Bronx I'll go to and there's a Checkers right nearby that used to have a special (it still may): two burgers and a soda for four dollars. And these weren't pissy little McDonalds dollar menu burgers that come with nothing and taste like little more than greasy bun. These were fully loaded. But they were the exception. Normally, when I go to a fast food restaurant and order a burger, I almost never think to myself, "ahhh, now that's a burger!" I'm eating because I'm hungry and it's cheap. Well, when I'm at NYBC, I'm thinking , "now that's a burger!" It's big and juicy and oozes taste all over the place. Cheese, too.



NYBC, like most of the other burger joints, isn't one for variety. You'll have your burger and like it, punk. But where it's variety comes in is in the sauces you can choose from to top off with. Ketchup and mustard and mayo, plus NYBC burger sauce, chili pepper ketchup, bbq, honey Dijon, chipotle honey, and creamy horseradish are the ones I can remember. I love the creamy horseradish.

Wait for food: Me: 5 minutes, Bro: 12.
Cost: $9.50 plus tax.
Burger: Really good.
Fries: Not really good.
Atmosphere: Fast Food's not so long lost brother.
Verdict: Great for a lunch or alone, but not where I'd go if I wanted a burger at dinner where I'd want to be social.




BURGERS & CUPCAKES:


Burgers & Cupcakes marries NYC's recent burger mania with its recent cupcake mania. I did not, it must be noted, try the cupcakes here, and indeed, BLT Burger also does the cupcake thing, albeit on a much more subdued level. But part of the reason I avoided the cupcakes it because when I think of a burger chased with a cupcake, I get a bit queesy. Kind of the way I'd feel if I thought of teaming a glass of OJ with a plate of nachos or broccoli rabe with anything other than a bullet to the head. But judging by the number of people eating here at the Chelsea outlet, it clearly works for a lot of people. (the burgers and the cupcakes, not the broccoli rabe. How anyone could eat something that tastes like spinach crossed with chewing tobacco will forever be beyond me.)



B&C is pink. Pink pink pink. If steakhouse-like BLT was for manly men, B&C is catering to their tween daughters. It's the girliest of burger joints. That's fine, but it's not my thing. Unlike any of the other burger joints, B&C offers a breakfast menu. Breakfast cupcakes like Spiced Yogurt with Apple and Granola or Mocha Latte Espresso go for three bucks and breakfast burgers like Taylor Ham or Bacon, Egg, and Cheese go for four. Obviously B&C sells cupcakes too. About ten varieties. But we're here about the hamburgers, so let's get back on track.

B&C has, hands down, the widest hamburger variety. From regulars like beef, veggie, and turkey, to flat out exotics like lamb with rosemary, free-range bison, ostrich, and venison. The cheeses are the ones you'd expect, but the the toppings include mango salsa and cranberry. At the end of the day, you can order up something so different from the rest of the hamburger family that its cousins gossip about how its parents were too soft.



Burgers and Cupcakes was the most diner-like of all the burger joints I'd been to yet. And it's plain-Jane normal burgers were also the most forgettable. I don't want anyone to say I didn't like them, since they were fine. It's just that I didn't really notice them. Maybe it was the pink walls or the oh-so-perky waitress who was literally the nicest, happiest, most smiling thing I'd ever seen. Maybe I was just distracted. But I shouldn't have been. I guess at the end, the regular hamburgers felt generic (I certainly can't speak with any authority about the oddball flavors). Still, I'd probably go back if I was in the neighborhood.

I went with Dogz, and even though we ordered fries separately, they brought them out in one humongous basket that was un-finishable and only charged us once. It's like they knew no single person could finish that thing. It was nice that they didn't waste the food or our money.

Wait for food: 12 minutes.
Cost: $14 including tax and tip.
Burger: um... I forget.
Fries: Good and huge.
Atmosphere: Pink, like the bing on your cherry.
Verdict: Not bad, but I'm coming back for the venison burger.




Coming in Part Three:
Better Burger, the burger joint at Le Parker Meridien, and DuMont Burger

80-00 Cooper Avenue
Glendale, New York
(718) 894-3263

I had initially planned to write about Orange, the cafe/bistro/bar on the Atlas Park green, only after I wrote about Q, and for two reasons: One, I recently wrote up Atlas Park's Pasticcio; and Two, I wanted to keep the reviews of places very near me spread out, so that I can maintain the illusion that this particular foodie goes everywhere. Of course, all one needs to do is look at my review map and they'll know that that is regrettably untrue. Finally, there just isn't much to say and (sigh) this will be little more than a elongated blurb with photos.



I ended up choosing to do the Orange review because of the weather. I went on a Sunday. A hot, ninety-degree Sunday. Going for a bike ride wasn't an option, but sitting on my butt in the breezy shade of an umbrella and trees sipping ice-cold soda and having lunch was. Off to Orange at Atlas Park.



I'm not really sure what to call Orange. It's a cafe-slash-bistro in that it had a limited menu of sandwiches, paninis, salads, and desserts. Since it also has a bar and wine list, I'm tempted to put it in the bar-that-serves-food category. I'll spit the difference. Orange is a cafe-bar. Well, whatever it is, you're not there for the food, but for the ambiance, or at least for a place to sit and suck down a mojito while your significant other is trying on skirts at White House/Black Market. You go because it's nice to sit there and eat with a friend or whoever and chat. Forget the shopping, I'd go for evening late night drinks if they were open late enough to serve late night drinks. There's a definite chillness to it all.



And "it all" is very chic. Everything fits in with the orange and black theme. The walls inside are orange; the waiters wear black; the menus are orange; the tables are black; the umbrellas are orange; the dirt the tables are on is orange; the straws are black. The copper outdoor fireplace that warms patrons in the cold weather is orange.



As I said, Orange serves food in addition to drink (don't tell anyone, but the people I sat next to that afternoon got waayyysted). And it's not the cheapest food in town. The few times I was there, I ordered a panini, which has become the must-have food for any establishment that serves lunch these days. After all, what's the point of having a sandwich if there's no risk of having a razor-sharp corner of toasted bread slice a chunk out of the roof of your mouth? The panini I had this time was the roast beef one, which was a tidge dry, so follow my lead and ask for honey mustard to dip it in. Very good. And for more than $8... but it came with a nice little side salad. Plus a diet coke, and I ended up parting ways with $13. Again, you pay less for the food than for the feeling you get while eating the food.



In the colder months, or if you crave an air conditioner, there are plenty of seats inside, too. Failing that, sit at the bar.

I wholeheartedly enjoyed Orange. Really relaxed, nice attentive staff, decent-enough food; but don't forget, this is not somewhere I'd suggest going for dinner. Snobs may snort at the fact that it sits, sort of, in a mall or doesn't serve anything requiring a full kitchen, but they'd be missing the entire point. And that's fine with me. If they came there may not be a place for me to sit.

320 Atlantic Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11201
(718) 488-0777

On first inspection, there's a dumpiness to Boerum Hill and its sister neighborhoods of Carrol Gardens and Cobble Hill (BoCoCa, since everything needs a shorter nickname nowadays). Nail salons and shuttered storefronts and graffiti seem to be common. And yet there's something upscale about the place that until you look for a little while longer, you don't see. Turn any corner off of the avenues and you walk down tree-lined brownstone streets. A new high-rise is being built. Is that a Halstead Properties office? How many bookstores does one neighborhood need? Oh my God, look at all these restaurants! And that's pretty much what did it for me. I may not have much in common with the shopping here, but the variety of food is great.

If there's one thing that Brooklyn does better than all other outer boroughs combined, it's attract restaurants. And BoCoCa is no exception to that rule. And if there's one thing that Brooklyn does better than any other borough, it's outdoor seating. Street after street, the restaurants use their brownstone backyards as isolated, ivy lined little getaways from traditional urban dining. I heard a rumor the other day that FoHi (annoying, isn't it?) might see it's first rear patio dining area at Jade, which finally got approval to put seats outside. I guess we shall see. Frankly, I think the Gardens' Station Square should be exclusive to restaurants.

I met Bro after work here in Boerum Hill and we immediately proceeded to argue. I won't bother going into the details, but let's say our "debate" revolved around common courtesy, civilized society, and whether one should do something they were asked to do when the word please is attached to the request. The conversation continued down the street from the subway and around the corner of Atlantic to Jolie itself. It continued until we were seated and pretty much until the appetizers came. They came quickly. Don't worry, we don't belong to those annoying one of those annoying families that make a scene.

Jolie has two dining areas, one inside and one outside in the rear, and reminds me of what used to be my favorite restaurant, the long-gone, much lamented Plate 347 on Second Avenue. Walking in are tables all along the wall until you get to the outdoor patio area. Here we sat surrounded by trees and with the view of a church's stained glass windows. Tea lights line the brick walls and dim white bulbs like the kind you'd find on a Christmas tree are all that light the space. This would be a perfect date restaurant.

The staff was very nice and like I said, the food came quickly and was cleared quickly. While you think about your order and wait for your food, there are french rolls to munch on served with butter or an olive pate, which Bro thought was excellent. There was always a guy with a pitcher coming to fill our water at the halfway mark. The manager (or owner) always had a big smile when he was wandering around. So absolutely no complaints about the people.

All right. So the atmosphere at Jolie is second to none and the service was great. I wish the appetizers were as good. It's not that anything was bad. But there was a certain, um... blandness to them. As a starter I ordered the Escargots de Bourgogne au Beurre et Persille, which is a very long fancy way of saying traditional escargot, the kind served wallowing in butter and parsley. The escargot was perfectly cooked and melted in your mouth. The thing is, once it melted, there was nothing there. It was like the ghost of an escargot. There was simply too little flavor. And virtually the same can be said of Bro's Lobster Bisque. I, we, are used to bisques that are heavy and thick. This bisque was thin and loose. The lobster came through fine, but the texture was wrong and the brothy characteristic was disappointing. The only thing I can think if was that the chef accidentally grabbed the 1% milk instead of the cream when he reached into the fridge.

Bro's entree was the Poulet Pallard, a hammered thin, peppery chicken breast served with an apricot sauce and side salad. The chicken was also a tad bland, and hence the sauce, which was very tangy and powerfully added the much-needed burst of flavor that carried this dish out of tastelessness. Zesty. I recommend the Poulet as a good summer dish and think it would have gone better if served with a crisp white wine or some French version of the margarita.

My main course was Filet de Chevreuil, Sauce en Miel, Montard et Thym Frais, which was a mouth watering venison fillet served with mashed sweet potatoes and vegetables. This was delicious as evidenced by how I inhaled it. Bro had only finished half of his meal by the time I wolfed this down. I practically tore up some bread to wipe up all the sauce... but held back. In my defense, it was small.



For dessert, Bro chose the Crepes Suzette. After all, who doesn't love a dessert that they cover in booze and light on fire in front of you? Pretty large. Very tangy. As for me, I chose the Chocolate Marquis. The best way to describe this gem is that you picture a brownie and cross it with a warm, creamy chocolate bar. Now drizzle chocolate syrup on one side and a vodka cranberry syrup on the other and top it off with a dollop of whipped cream. Ta-da. This has to have been one of the heaviest, most thoroughly rich chocolate desserts I've had since I don't know when. I did not get, but seriously considered Jolie's Trio of Creme Bruleé. I love creme bruleé and their trio of vanilla, nutella, and strawberry papaya sounded, at the very least, different. Maybe next time.




The total bill for 2 appetizers, 2 entrees, 2 beers (Kronenbourg 1664), 2 desserts, and two 2 coffees, plus tax and tip, came to $110 and change. You could easily chop that cost down by ordering less expensive entrees than we did (but I really wanted that venison) and axing dessert. The bill comes with jelly beans.

OLD TOWN BAR & RESTAURANT
45 East 18th Street
New York, NY 10003
(212) 529-6732

Every so often you don't care what you eat. Every so often the food is secondary to having a good time. Every so often, you order something not because you want something new... or even good. You just don't want something bad. Like the smokers on the corner who maybe take three drags before they're down to the filter; like the guys who spend three hours at a bar, but maybe have two drinks. You want to eat because it's an excuse to hang out. Okay. I'll admit it, that wasn't why we were at Old Town. But that's what it turned into.



Courtesy of Mr. Dogz, I, like Ernest Hemingway, carry around a Moleskine notebook. Unlike him, I write down restaurants I want to try out instead of prose. Also unlike him, I'm not a depressed alcoholic. Dogz and Speeds and I were hungry and happened to be in the neighborhood of an entry in my little black book. So turning a corner, we headed on over. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why I wrote down Old Town. It looked like a dive bar that hadn't seen sunlight since the heyday of bowler hats. I half expected to trip over an elderly drunk with a cockney accent on my way in. And yet, I'd gladly go back now that I've been there. It's good. Real good. Hell, it's even made the New York Times and Time Out New York "Best Of NYC" lists.

I think Ernest might have liked this old-school place. And by old-school, I mean old-school. Old Town claims to have been opened in the 1890s, and I think it's still there. The ceilings look about three hundred feet high with pressed tin embossed designs along its entire length. The wood-paneled walls are dark and decorated with antique photos and posters. The black and white porcelain tile floors and massive mahogany bar that, from where we sat, seemed to stretch practically out the door, would have been enough to complete the time-warp. Would have been even if I never went to the bathroom.

Ah, the bathroom. The one place where originality could easily be sacrificed in lieu of modern stuff. You know. Like modern stall doors. Mr. Dogz went in and there was some poor guy on the can, probably just finishing a prayer specifically begging that no one enter while he sat. See, the stall doors start so high that you can see up to whoever-it-is's thighs, pants around his ankles, hairy knees, and all. I think the lesson is obvious: don't take a dump. I wasn't too fond of the urinals, either. First, they're right by the door and it doesn't close all the way. So see that cutie you just left at the bar for two minutes? If she stretches while waiting and twists to face the bathroom... peekaboo. Second, since they go all the way to the floor, there's a splash factor. Um... I was wearing flip-flops. ...yeah.

Let's move on.



The food: Geez. Who even cares? It was about the atmosphere, people! Fine fine. Dogz and I split a Mozzarella Sticks, and the table split a French Fries. The mozzarella sticks were very good and the fries were huge. Massive. There were three of us and we would have had to invite more people to finish them off. Speeds ordered a Freshly Squeezed Lemonade, which they advertised in the window with a hand-written sign that informs us how awesome it is with vodka. Speeds said it would have been more awesome with more lemon. But whatever.

I ordered a BLT which was pretty much a standard BLT. No complaints except that I asked for cole slaw instead of fries, since Speeds ordered them already, but no slaw came. I didn't bother pointing it out. Like I said, I didn't care. Dogz chose the Fish Sandwich. He though it was perfect. Not content with merely one great big fried piece of flounder, he also stole the anchovies from Speeds' Chicken Caesar Salad. And by the way, that salad was hu-mon-gous. It took up the entire plate and I'm not kidding when I say that there was so much grilled chicken on top that it blocked out the view of the lettuce.

The difference between Old Town and retro is that retro is fake. Retro is an attempt at recreating the fantasy of being around that which we idealize as classic. Like the new Mustang or those phones you can get at Pottery Barn. Like one of the few guys who can pull off a fedora, it looks cool, but it's just a modern attempt at authenticity. Old Town is authentic. There's nothing retro about it. It's pure.

Most bars are clones of the one down the block. Another Irish pub, another hipster dive bar, another yuppie gin joint, another smooth cocktail lounge. They're all good, but if you've been to one, you've been to 'em all. If you're looking for a bar that's unique, that's enough of a dive to keep yuppies away like garlic to a vampire but that not so divey that hipsters have it on their radar prepped for colonization, this might be the place for you. It's a one-off. And just look at that neon sign! ...and watch your feet.

Two appetizers, three main dishes, a couple of beers, and a lemonade, plus tax and tip, and we dropped $63. Not bad.

UPDATE: 5/6/08

A recent return to Old Town this past Saturday was disappointing, to say the least. The men's bathroom has gotten worse, if such a thing were possible. Now you can sit on the toilet and look clean through the door. Lovely. But the biggest thing was the service, which was awful. Screw giving her a tip, I came close to the border of just leaving, tab be damned. Anyway, one miserable time will not dissuade me from returning, but I write this as a warning to other customers.

Introduction

INTRODUCTION:
Since the first Indian moved south to the plains of Montana from the snowy northern tundra, stumbled upon the bison, ground that bison into a pasty goop and slapped it into a Kaiser roll, since the first European jumped onto the sandy shoreline of Virginia, popped open a bottle of ketchup and sliced some Vlasics into round chips, America has had the hamburger. Legends abound. Some say that George Washington refused to cross the Delaware until he had a nicely charred burger fresh off his Weber. It's alleged that the reason that the FBI went into overtime hunting down John Dillinger was because he inadvertently robbed the Fed’s favorite In-N-Out, thinking its long lines led to a bank teller.

Lately, here in NYC, the hamburger has made a resurgence. No longer the food of fast-food chains and diners, some restaurants have tried to demonstrate their youthful, brash hipness by serving up their version of the burger, often in the form of the mini-burger. The mini-burger, for those who are unfamiliar with them, is a smaller, more expensive, fancy, and universally unsatisfying lunch item. The dainty mini-burger is a re-design meant to appeal to those who eat pizza with a knife and fork.

But now, real hamburgers have taken center stage as the focus of menus at restaurants created specifically to take on the singular task of creating a great one. So far I’ve only been to those in Manhattan, but if anyone out there knows of any burger joints outside Manhattan, send me an email.



I decided to try as many as I could, but to make this thoroughly subjective and wholly unscientific study as objectively scientific as possible, I wanted to keep as many variables as constant as possible. So I have rules:

1. Burger joints only. For example, I recently went to Wollensky’s Grill and had their signature burger. They don’t count.
2. I always ordered the same thing: a cheeseburger with American cheese, a diet cola, and because ordering a hamburger without french fries is a misdemeanor punishable by a fine and/or three days in the clink, fries, too.
3. I always tried to go on the same days of the week and at the same times of the day: Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday between 7:01PM and 8:59PM. This was to ensure I got a seat by avoiding the midday lunch crowds and end-of-the-week date crowds... and a less busy chef is a better chef.

Other than the obvious aesthetics of the burger joint and the taste of the burgers, I also noted the cost and the time it took between ordering and digging in. After all, these are hamburgers, not filet mignons.

So after a lengthy introduction and ignoring my South Beach Diet obligations for what I deem a worthy cause, I begin…


SHAKE SHACK:


Shake Shack sits in Madison Square Park and is entirely outdoors, so it's only open for about half the year. The warm half. Bro and I arrived at Shake Shack and did what everyone does when they get there: stand on line. Literally, the line stretches to the entrance of the park. Of all the places I've tried so far (these reviews are not in the order in which I went), Shake Shack is the cheapest by far. $8.00 for everything, plus tax. The atmosphere here is unparalleled. Sitting outside in the park at bistro tables, with trees above you and skyscrapers above them is something that almost no other place in the city can match for the price.



Shake Shack's fries were probably among the best of any of the burger joints so far. Thick cut and crisp, but not burned. The burger was equally good. Shake Shack cooks them all to medium and they come fully dressed, but with onions on the side, chopped up in a little cup. You can choose from a selection of beers and half-bottles of wine as well. Should you not want hamburgers, Shake Shack has a separate line for desserts and they have ice cream cones, shakes, and sundaes.



But there are setbacks. First, the wait was very long. 45 minutes, and the people who got there after us had even more time to kill. Secondly, there aren't nearly enough tables or chairs. Of course, there would have been more chairs but some girls decided that their handbags needed a place at the table, too.



Wait to order: 45 minutes
Wait for food: 13 minutes
Cost: $8.00
Burger: Very good
Fries: Very good
Atmosphere: Bar none
Verdict: One of the best spring/summer places to eat… if you can get a table and the person or people you’re with don’t die of old age on line.




BRGR:


I was initially supposed to go to Brgr opening night with M, who somehow knows the owners or the owners' cousin's stylist's neighbor or something. Anyway, we were on the list. But the problem was that M's a vegetarian and they were out of veggie burgers by the time we got there. Luckily for me, Brgr just happened to be down the block from my old office and staying late gave me the perfect opportunity to try it out. Walking in they seem like they could be fast food. You order your burger from a menu with numbers (number one is the standard cheeseburger) and then tack on extras like french fries or onion rings and soda.



Brgr has what would appear at first to be a pretty limited menu, especially when you grow up with the voluminous menus that have become part of any regular fast food visit. But that’s the point. This isn't fast food or a diner, and nothing will be served to you after it's visited the heat lamp. But the menu’s actually got quite a bit of choice. If you don’t want the standard 1/3-pound Montana Angus, you can get a veggie or turkey burger. See?

And what fast food place serves beer? Choose between a Moretti or Brooklyn Brewery Reserve. If you’re more of a wine person, Brgr offers four: “Good” and “Better” red and white. Milkshakes and fresh-squeezed lemonade is available. For dessert, Brgr has an agreement with a bakery that gives them cookie dough rolls to be cut and baked fresh behind the counter. The cookies are actually really good.

The front of the restaurant is modern and bright. The back of the restaurant is the open kitchen. The walls are exposed brick, the chairs are clear plastic, and the booth cushions look like humongous, comfy Skittles. You can also sit at the bar watching the cooks do their thing, but these stools aren’t very easy on the kiester.



I waited 18 minutes for my hamburger to arrive, which is no small chunk of time. It was worth the wait, but I have to ask where the 1/3 pound of meat went. It seemed awfully small. The burger was delicious and came with the usual fixings of lettuce, tomato, and pickle, plus some pink sauce I can’t put my finger on. Still, do I feel like it was worth eight bucks? Maybe.

Where the burger was great, the fries were weak. They’re freshly cut and made right in front of you, skin and all. But they come soggy. If they were crisp, they’d have tasted fine, but I just can’t get past their droop factor. Additionally, they’re unsalted. Some people may like being able to add their own salt. I, on the other hand, think that one of the marks of a good fry is when the salt already on it does the job. My final annoyance was the ketchup, which comes in one of those plain red plastic diner squeeze bottles. Truck stop style. The ketchup itself was fine, but the bottle was so greasy, sticky, and disgustng that I was didn't want ot touch it and used a napkin to hold it over my fries.

Wait for food: 18 minutes.
Cost: $11.92 for everything.
Burger: A smally but a goody.
Fries: Not very good.
Atmosphere: Aside from the kechup bottle, fast food with class.
Verdict: Next time, I’ll skip the fries and get an extra burger.

For a more thorough review of all that Brgr has to offer (with way better photos), check out NYCnosh's thoughts. They tried more than I did, and their most noted issue was that they weren't too thrilled with the service, which I had no problems with... although one over-zealous cleaner took the cup off my table before I even got to fill it with soda. I got it back.




ZIP BURGER:

NOTE: ZIP BURGER HAS CLOSED.


Much as Brgr was near my old office, Zip Burger is near my new one, and thus comes another perfect opportunity to try something after work and avoid having to do dishes at home.



Zip Burger is two small floors tall. The first floor is where you order and the second floor is where you eat. Everything is cow themed, from the smiling, I'm-so-happy-you're-eating-me cow mascot riding a Vespa, to the faux bossie seats upstairs. Zip Burger is unlike the other burger places I've been to thus far because at Zip Burger, you build your burger from the ground up. So while a $4.50 hamburger looks cheap at first, you have to pay extra for pretty much any modification that isn't a pickle. This includes lettuce and tomato. Zip Burger's menu is strictly a burger one: beef, turkey, salmon or veggie. No hoity-toity wines or microbrews here.

The staff was very nice, and one even waved for a photo (though I didn't use it). But the burgers are a different story. The Hereford beef ranchers call the midwest where they raise their cattle "the Napa Valley of beef", but I think they sold Zip Burger the meat from the Two-Buck-Chuck vineyard. The burger itself looked really good. Looks can be deceiving. As someone on the Chowhound message-board said, the burger, bun, and toppings were perfectly proportioned and it's delivered to your table piping-hot. But that's not enough when you can't taste the meat. I could feel the texture, but other than that, there didn't seem to be any evidence of the beef's existence. That and it was pretty greasy.



The fries were equally unimpressive since they were over-fried and brittle. Like pretzel sticks made from potato. Half of them had no requisite creamy middle. Half of them were left on the plate.

I am possibly alone in my opinion. Or perhaps I went on an oddball day. For example, Frank Bruni writes in his NY Times blog/review of Zip Burger that he found beef the enjoyable in large part because it allegedly held it's taste over the presence of the bun and cheese. His major lament was over soggy, as opposed to burned-to-a-crisp, fries. Now, I'll be the first to say that he's an actual reporter whose opinon counts at least enough for someone to write him a check to give it. But I think it demonstrates that he ate somewhere else.

Wait for food: 12 minutes.
Cost: $11.65 for everything.
Burger: Where's the beef?
Fries: Potato splinters.
Atmosphere: Cow-themed diner.
Verdict: I hate giving bad reviews, but...



Coming in Part Two:
BLT Burger, NY Burger Company, and Burgers & Cupcakes.